Risk Taking

The Power of Kindness Over Niceness

/ Dave Eberwein / Leave a comment

There is a constant tension in leadership. There are moments in every leader’s journey when we’re faced with a choice — Do we say the hard thing, or do we stay silent to keep the peace?

It’s tempting to choose what appears to be the ‘easier’ route. After all, we’re in the business of nurturing, supporting, and building community — ‘rocking the boat’ would appear to be the opposite of that. And, we all want to be viewed as nice.

But the truth is — being ‘nice‘ isn’t the same as being ‘kind‘.

Let me explain.

As leaders, we can confuse niceness with goodness. We all desire to be ‘good’, and to do that we can also think we just need to be ‘nice’ all the time. We avoid the difficult conversations because we don’t want to hurt feelings or be seen as harsh.

But niceness, when it avoids the truth, can erode the trust we need as an organization. Kindness, on the other hand, is rooted in respect which can build and strengthen trust. It’s the courage to speak honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable — because we care enough to want better for each other and for our organization.

Being a kind leader means holding people accountable with compassion. It means addressing the colleague who consistently misses deadlines, not to shame them, but to support their growth. It means naming the tension in a meeting, not to create conflict, but to clear the air and move forward with integrity. And, it may sometimes mean making a difficult decision.

Over my 37 years in public education, I’ve learned that the most honouring thing we can do for our staff is to be clear and consistent. Clarity is kindness. When we avoid the awkward conversation — the hard conversation — we leave people guessing. We create a culture of uncertainty, where assumptions fill the silence. But, when we speak with honesty and empathy, when we work to address the issues, we build a workplace where people feel seen, respected, and safe.

Speaking with honesty doesn’t mean we abandon warmth or empathy.

Quite the opposite. Kindness is deeply relational.

Kindness in Leadership: The practice of demonstrating empathy, compassion and consideration even when making difficult decisions. Kindness in leadership is not about being weak or compromising standards, but rather about balancing firmness with care, and understanding. 

Kindness is about showing up with humanity, even when the message is hard. It’s about saying, “I believe in you enough to have this conversation”.

In our schools, we talk about modeling the culture we want to see in our students. If we want them to grow into courageous, respectful and engaged citizens, we must show them what that looks like in adult relationships. This starts with us — leaders who are willing to be kind, not just nice — leaders who have the hard conversations because it’s not only the right thing to do, but also the kind and respectful thing to do.

So, the next time you hesitate before a tough conversation, ask yourself this question: ‘Am I avoiding this to be liked, or am I leading with kindness and respect?‘

Kindness isn’t always comfortable — but it’s always worth it. It’s always the correct path.

Building an organizational culture where truth and care walk hand-in-hand is what makes us stronger and on our desired trajectory — to grow and get better. It’s a leadership journey where we realize that feedback is a gift, not a threat — where we honour each other enough to be real.

Because in the end … kindness builds trust. And trust builds everything else.

Why Equity and Excellence Must Walk Hand in Hand: Lessons from Finland and British Columbia

/ Dave Eberwein / 5 Comments

In education, we often look outward to learn inward. For years, Finland has been a guiding light — its public education system admired globally for its innovation, student success, and deep commitment to equity. Researchers, policymakers, and educators have studied it closely, hoping to understand how a small Nordic country became an educational superpower.

But Finland is no longer alone in this spotlight.

British Columbia has quietly — and confidently — joined the ranks of the world’s most respected education systems. Our province has consistently performed at the top of international assessments, and in 2019, the OECD chose BC to host its Future of Education and Skills 2030 meeting — the first time this global gathering was held in North America. That moment wasn’t just symbolic. It was a recognition of the work we’ve done together: educators, families, and communities building a system that values both excellence and equity.

Yes, we’ve learned from Finland. But, we’ve also forged our own path.

One of Finland’s most influential voices, Professor Pasi Sahlberg, has long championed the idea that public education must be both excellent and equitable. Currently a professor of Educational Leadership at the University of Melbourne in Australia, Sahlberg has worn many hats — teacher, researcher, policy advisor — and through it all, he’s remained steadfast in his belief that education is a public good. He reminds us that schools are not just places of learning; they are pillars of democracy, equity, and opportunity.

His message is clear: we don’t have to choose between high achievement and fair access. We can — and must — pursue both.

Here in Saanich, we see this every day:

  • In classrooms where students are encouraged to think critically and creatively.
  • In schools where staff work tirelessly to ensure every learner feels seen, supported, and challenged.
  • Where we recognize that Indigenous students are not achieving to the same level as their non-indigenous peers and, as such, continuing to focus on this inequity.
  • In families and communities that partner with us to nurture not just academic success, but well-being, belonging, and purpose.

The work is not easy. But it is essential.

As we look ahead, let’s continue to ask ourselves these questions:

  • Are we creating spaces where all students can thrive?
  • How do we continue to value our educators and support staff as the professionals they are?
  • Are we building a system that reflects the diversity, complexity, and potential of every learner?

Equity and excellence are not opposing forces. They are twin pillars of a strong public education system. And when we commit to both, we create something powerful — not just for our students, but for our entire community.

The Real Ones Recognize the Journey

/ Dave Eberwein / 2 Comments

People who’ve done the work exude a kind of quiet power. They don’t need to shout about it. You may not even notice it, but it’s there.

It’s subtle, but if you look closely, it becomes obvious:

Real Ones Recognize Greta Thunberg’s Courage
  • recognizing the efforts of others who are beginning their journey;
  • not offering criticism when others trip along their way;
  • not tearing others down but building them up.

This quiet power comes from experience. From deep inside one’s being.

They know the kind of courage it takes to try something new. To begin. To keep going when it gets ugly. When the failures seem to outnumber the successes. When the inevitable roadblocks stop others.

They know what it feels like to be criticized. They are the real ones.

Real ones don’t criticize. They recognize.

The Courage to Begin

Starting something new is one of the most vulnerable things a person can do. Whether it’s launching a new initiative like writing your first blog, stepping into a new role, rewriting the rulebook, or experimenting with a new tool — the beginning is always the hardest part. It’s where one’s doubt is the loudest and the support from others is often its quietest.

But those who’ve been there — those who’ve travelled a similar path to you — they see you. They know the courage it takes just to begin. Behind every success story is a mountain of unseen effort. Early mornings. Late nights. Repetition. Sacrifice.

Real ones understand that discipline isn’t glamorous—it’s gritty, it’s lonely and it’s necessary. And because they’ve lived it, they don’t mock your hustle.

They respect it.

  • The athlete respects the new gym attendee for the effort it takes to be awkward and unknowing in front of others.
  • The experienced master teacher honours the rookie who is trying new strategies.
  • The system leader cultivates a culture of emotional safety for new leaders allowing them the space to take risks.

To risk is to believe in something that doesn’t yet exist. It’s to bet on yourself when no one else will. Those who’ve taken real risks—who’ve put their time, money, and heart on the line—don’t belittle others for doing the same. They speak the language of the courageous.

Take the Risk to be Better

There’s nothing more raw than creating something from nothing. Sharing your ideas, your voice — it’s an act of vulnerability. True artists, makers, dreamers and doers know how exposed you feel when you put your work into the world — when you put yourself on the line. That’s why they applaud your courage.

It’s why you don’t see the athlete mocking the novice gym rat, nor the master teacher belittling the first year professional. These newcomers to the adventure are starting out and taking risks to be better — and that’s worth recognizing.

The Echo Chamber of the Uninspired

The loudest critics are often the ones doing the least. They haven’t risked. They haven’t built. They haven’t dared. Instead, they mock what they don’t understand. But their noise is just that—noise. It’s not a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of their fear.

You’ll know you’re on the right path when the quiet nods start showing up. The athlete who sees your grind. The leader who respects your ambition. The mentor who sees your growth. Real ones don’t need to say much. Their recognition is subtle, but it’s real — and it’s earned.

Protecting Your Energy

Listen to Your ‘Why’ and Risk to be Better

Not every opinion deserves your attention. Learn to discern between critique and criticism. Protect your energy like it’s your most valuable asset — because it is. Stay rooted in your purpose and let your “why” be louder than their “what ifs.”

Growth doesn’t happen in isolation. Surround yourself with people who challenge you, support you, and believe in you. The right community doesn’t just cheer you on—they hold you accountable to your potential. They remind you who you are when you forget.

Keep Building You

So keep going. Keep building. Keep growing. The world needs more people who are willing to try, to risk, to create. Don’t let the critics dim your drive. Let the real ones remind you that you’re not alone.

Let your superpower be your perseverance.

You’re just getting started.

(This post was inspired by the author prompting AI on the idea of someone being acknowledged by those who have travelled a similar path.)