social-emotional

The Neuroscience of Nostalgia: Why Familiar Stories Feel So Good

/ Dave Eberwein / 5 Comments

I’m fascinated by the exploration of brain function and, specifically, how it relates to education and student success. Neuroscience continues to be a great source of information for building an even better education system.

Before I begin my post on The Neuroscience of Nostalgia, let’s begin with talking about one of my favourite TV shows – M*A*S*H. I’ve watched the series at least 10 times over — probably more.

Why do I watch the same episodes again and again and again?

My ongoing commitment to this 1970s wartime sitcom is not because I’m bored or because I’m too lazy to watch something new — I watch them because they’re familiar. I can predict what’s coming — even knowing many of the script lines. There are no surprise endings. No plot twists. Just dry humour, heartfelt moments, and a sense of comfort in knowing everyone on the TV screen.

And, as it turns out, there’s strong neuroscience behind the importance of this familiarity.

When we rewatch a familiar show, listen to a favourite song, or read a treasured bedtime story to our children, our brains breathe a sigh of relief. The amygdala — the part of the brain that scans for danger like a hypervigilant squirrel — gets to take a break. It recognizes the storyline, the characters, the music. There’s no threat. Just Corporal Radar O’Reilly trying to keep the M*A*S*H camp running smoothly. 

This is what neuroscientists call comfort-watching — something that reduces one’s cognitive load. Your prefrontal cortex — the part of your brain responsible for planning and decision-making gets to rest. When you comfort-watch (or comfort-listen or comfort-read) you already know what happens next. There’s no need to analyze, predict, or problem solve — you just relax and take it all in.

Science has shown that there is a fundamental need for our brains to find that ‘relax mode’ — to not worry about what might be coming next.

A 2012 study found that rewatching familiar shows helps people feel soothed, restored, and emotionally grounded. It’s not about entertainment—it’s about emotional safety. Another study showed that people turn to familiar media when they’re emotionally drained because it provides a sense of control and predictability.

So, how does comfort-watching, or comfort-listening or comfort-reading relate to the classroom? Think about why children insist on hearing the same story over and over again.

Why do Kindergarten students want to sing the same song every morning? It’s not because they lack imagination. It’s because their developing brains crave predictability. Neuroscience shows that repetition strengthens neural pathways, helping children process language, emotions, and cause-and-effect relationships.

Star Wars – My Movies of Choice

There were reports that during the 2020 pandemic that large numbers of people turned to their childhood TV shows and movies. When surrounded by the unknowns of the pandemic, people found themselves surfing to find series or movies that were familiar. When the world feels chaotic, our nervous system reaches for what’s known. Predictable stories act like a buffer between us and the unknown. They bring order to chaos.

And for our students — especially those navigating big emotions, new environments, or transitions — familiarity is a powerful form of regulation.

This is why school routines matter.

Morning circle time on the carpet for Kindergarten students, consistent classroom expectations, emotionally safe spaces where a dysregulated child can surround themselves with familiarity — and, yes, even Pizza Fridays — all help students feel grounded. When we create predictable environments, we’re not just managing behaviour — we’re supporting brain development.

Radar and Hawkeye from M*A*S*H

So, don’t despair when a child seeks familiarity. Think of it as their brain ‘taking a breath’ to become centered. Their brains are doing exactly what they’re wired to do — seek safety through familiarity.

And if you find yourself rewatching M*A*S*H, Friends or Star Wars after a long day, know that you’re not being lazy.

You’re self-regulating. Neuroscience says so.

Confidence Isn’t a Synonym for Competence

/ Dave Eberwein / 2 Comments

Have you ever watched someone speak with absolute certainty about a topic, and you knew that they really had no clue about what they were talking about?

It’s uncomfortable, isn’t it?

We have all likely been that person at some point — where our confidence exceeds our ability. What is that strange gap between confidence and competence? That’s the Dunning-Kruger Effect — and it shows up more often than we think, especially in the workplace. For a few people, it can be a daily event.

Dunning-Kruger Effect: A cognitive bias where people with low competence in a skill tend to overestimate their own abilities and knowledge in that area. This lack of metacognitive awareness prevents them from accurately assessing their own performance, while high performers often underestimate their abilities.

It’s not arrogance — it’s a lack of self-awareness. And ironically, the more skilled you actually become, the more you realize how much you really don’t know. It’s a humbling paradox: ignorance breeds confidence, while knowledge breeds humility.

In the workplace, this can manifest in subtle but impactful ways:

Confidence does not Always Equal Competence
  • Take the new manager who’s just stepped into a leadership role. They’ve read a few books, maybe taken a course or two, and suddenly they’re convinced they know how to lead a team. But leadership isn’t theoretical –it’s relational. Without emotional intelligence, listening skills, and the ability to navigate conflict, that over confidence can quickly erode trust.
  • In politics, a new leader speaks from a place of confidence yet includes statistics and events that are not true or highly exaggerated to make their point. Their presence presents itself as arrogance — yet it’s uninformed arrogance. Being familiar with the topic, you soon lose trust in the leader. You question their integrity, intentions and ability.
  • Or the school district leader, who’s just attended a one-day workshop on a new pedagogical approach to language instruction. They return to their school district, energized, ready to overhaul their system. But, without deeper understanding or support, the implementation falters. Staff are confused, students are frustrated, outcomes may drop, and the leader feels disillusioned. The intent was good, but the execution lacked depth.

Understand this effect isn’t meant to shame anyone. It’s about recognizing a pattern — and learning from it.

The real danger of the Dunning-Kruger Effect isn’t ignorance itself — it’s the illusion of knowledge. When we think we know more than we do, we stop asking questions. We stop listening. And that’s when growth stalls. Arrogance takes over and learning stops.

So how do we move forward as an organization?

NORMALIZE NOT KNOWING

  • In a culture that rewards certainty, admitting “I don’t know” can feel risky. But it’s actually a sign of calm wisdom. The most competent leaders I know are the ones who ask the most questions. They’re not afraid to look foolish by not knowing, because they know that learning is messy — and worth it.

BUILD FEEDBACK-RICH ENVIRONMENTS

  • Whether it’s in a classroom, the boardroom, or a team meeting, feedback helps us calibrate our self-perception. It’s not about criticism — it’s about clarity. When we invite others to reflect back on what they see, we gain insight into our blind spots. And that’s where real growth begins.

INVEST IN REFLECTION

  • Think about a time you were sure of something and later realized you were completely off base. What led you to that conclusion? What did you miss? Reflection isn’t about beating ourselves up — it’s about building self-awareness. Self-awareness is the antidote to the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

LEAD WITH HUMILITY

  • Humility isn’t weakness — it’s strength. It’s the quiet confidence that comes from knowing your limits and being open to learning. When leaders model humility, they create space for others to do the same. And that’s when teams thrive.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect isn’t a flaw — it’s a feature of how our brains work. But when we understand it, and pay attention to opportunities when it might happen, we can move from unconscious incompetence to conscious growth.

So, stop pretending to know when you don’t … admit when you don’t know something … and look for those opportunities to gain the knowledge you’re missing.

Be genuine … Be transparent … Be humble … and seek knowledge.

Why wouldn’t we want to do that?

(This post was inspired by the author prompting AI, however, the majority of the writing is the author’s own work.)

The Power of Kindness Over Niceness

/ Dave Eberwein / Leave a comment

There is a constant tension in leadership. There are moments in every leader’s journey when we’re faced with a choice — Do we say the hard thing, or do we stay silent to keep the peace?

It’s tempting to choose what appears to be the ‘easier’ route. After all, we’re in the business of nurturing, supporting, and building community — ‘rocking the boat’ would appear to be the opposite of that. And, we all want to be viewed as nice.

But the truth is — being ‘nice‘ isn’t the same as being ‘kind‘.

Let me explain.

As leaders, we can confuse niceness with goodness. We all desire to be ‘good’, and to do that we can also think we just need to be ‘nice’ all the time. We avoid the difficult conversations because we don’t want to hurt feelings or be seen as harsh.

But niceness, when it avoids the truth, can erode the trust we need as an organization. Kindness, on the other hand, is rooted in respect which can build and strengthen trust. It’s the courage to speak honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable — because we care enough to want better for each other and for our organization.

Being a kind leader means holding people accountable with compassion. It means addressing the colleague who consistently misses deadlines, not to shame them, but to support their growth. It means naming the tension in a meeting, not to create conflict, but to clear the air and move forward with integrity. And, it may sometimes mean making a difficult decision.

Over my 37 years in public education, I’ve learned that the most honouring thing we can do for our staff is to be clear and consistent. Clarity is kindness. When we avoid the awkward conversation — the hard conversation — we leave people guessing. We create a culture of uncertainty, where assumptions fill the silence. But, when we speak with honesty and empathy, when we work to address the issues, we build a workplace where people feel seen, respected, and safe.

Speaking with honesty doesn’t mean we abandon warmth or empathy.

Quite the opposite. Kindness is deeply relational.

Kindness in Leadership: The practice of demonstrating empathy, compassion and consideration even when making difficult decisions. Kindness in leadership is not about being weak or compromising standards, but rather about balancing firmness with care, and understanding. 

Kindness is about showing up with humanity, even when the message is hard. It’s about saying, “I believe in you enough to have this conversation”.

In our schools, we talk about modeling the culture we want to see in our students. If we want them to grow into courageous, respectful and engaged citizens, we must show them what that looks like in adult relationships. This starts with us — leaders who are willing to be kind, not just nice — leaders who have the hard conversations because it’s not only the right thing to do, but also the kind and respectful thing to do.

So, the next time you hesitate before a tough conversation, ask yourself this question: ‘Am I avoiding this to be liked, or am I leading with kindness and respect?‘

Kindness isn’t always comfortable — but it’s always worth it. It’s always the correct path.

Building an organizational culture where truth and care walk hand-in-hand is what makes us stronger and on our desired trajectory — to grow and get better. It’s a leadership journey where we realize that feedback is a gift, not a threat — where we honour each other enough to be real.

Because in the end … kindness builds trust. And trust builds everything else.