criticism

Hitting the Sweet Spot – Criticism and Praise

/ Dave Eberwein / 2 Comments

In every classroom — at every grade level — a quiet tension exists between correction and encouragement. As educators, we find ourselves navigating the delicate balance between offering constructive criticism and celebrating effort.

Can well-meaning praise sometimes do more harm than good? Is that possible?

An article in Forbes magazine, “Criticism Is Good, But Praise Is Better,” reminds us that while feedback is essential, the tone and intent behind it can shape a student’s confidence and motivation. I recently wrote a blog post about Confirmation Bias (Why Students and Adults Struggle to Be Wrong — and How to Help, Dec 2025) where I outlined the vulnerability of students whose self-image is still developing and can be inadvertently and negatively influenced by both praise and criticism.

The way we speak to students can dramatically influence not just their academic outcomes, but their belief in themselves. Finding the balance — or sweet spot — for optimal personal growth is tricky.

When used well, praise is a powerful motivator. A teacher once told me how her classroom transformed when she shifted from pointing out mistakes to highlighting effort: “I started saying things like, ‘I noticed how you kept trying even when the problem was hard.’” The result? Students became more engaged, more curious, and more willing to take risks.

But, not all praise is created equal.

When praise becomes automatic or overly general — “Great job!” or “You’re so smart!” — it can lead to Confirmation Bias, where students begin to seek validation rather than growth. They may cling to familiar strategies, even when those strategies aren’t working, simply because they’ve been praised for them in the past.

A student praised repeatedly for their vivid vocabulary might resist feedback about their sentence structure. Why change what’s already being celebrated? In these moments, praise can unintentionally close the door to deeper learning.

So, it’s important to recognize that giving praise runs the risk of actually stifling creativity and broader thinking.

That’s why the most effective praise is both specific and reflective. Effective praise acknowledges what’s working while gently inviting students to consider alternatives. For example: “I love how you used descriptive language here. What do you think would happen if you varied your sentence lengths to build suspense?” This kind of feedback affirms effort while encouraging exploration. It minimizes the risk of contributing to confirmation bias.

Parents can adopt this approach at home, too. Instead of saying, “You’re amazing at math,” try, “I noticed how you broke that problem into steps—that strategy really worked. What might you try next time if it gets trickier?” This not only builds confidence but also fosters a mindset of adaptability and growth.

Ultimately, the goal isn’t to either eliminate criticism or flood students with praise.

It’s to create a culture of thoughtful feedback — striking a balance where students feel safe to take risks, reflect on their choices, and revise their thinking. When we do this, we’re not just helping them succeed in school. We’re helping them become resilient, reflective learners for life.

So, praise wisely, correct with care, and you’ll keep the door open for personal growth.

The Real Ones Recognize the Journey

/ Dave Eberwein / 2 Comments

People who’ve done the work exude a kind of quiet power. They don’t need to shout about it. You may not even notice it, but it’s there.

It’s subtle, but if you look closely, it becomes obvious:

Real Ones Recognize Greta Thunberg’s Courage
  • recognizing the efforts of others who are beginning their journey;
  • not offering criticism when others trip along their way;
  • not tearing others down but building them up.

This quiet power comes from experience. From deep inside one’s being.

They know the kind of courage it takes to try something new. To begin. To keep going when it gets ugly. When the failures seem to outnumber the successes. When the inevitable roadblocks stop others.

They know what it feels like to be criticized. They are the real ones.

Real ones don’t criticize. They recognize.

The Courage to Begin

Starting something new is one of the most vulnerable things a person can do. Whether it’s launching a new initiative like writing your first blog, stepping into a new role, rewriting the rulebook, or experimenting with a new tool — the beginning is always the hardest part. It’s where one’s doubt is the loudest and the support from others is often its quietest.

But those who’ve been there — those who’ve travelled a similar path to you — they see you. They know the courage it takes just to begin. Behind every success story is a mountain of unseen effort. Early mornings. Late nights. Repetition. Sacrifice.

Real ones understand that discipline isn’t glamorous—it’s gritty, it’s lonely and it’s necessary. And because they’ve lived it, they don’t mock your hustle.

They respect it.

  • The athlete respects the new gym attendee for the effort it takes to be awkward and unknowing in front of others.
  • The experienced master teacher honours the rookie who is trying new strategies.
  • The system leader cultivates a culture of emotional safety for new leaders allowing them the space to take risks.

To risk is to believe in something that doesn’t yet exist. It’s to bet on yourself when no one else will. Those who’ve taken real risks—who’ve put their time, money, and heart on the line—don’t belittle others for doing the same. They speak the language of the courageous.

Take the Risk to be Better

There’s nothing more raw than creating something from nothing. Sharing your ideas, your voice — it’s an act of vulnerability. True artists, makers, dreamers and doers know how exposed you feel when you put your work into the world — when you put yourself on the line. That’s why they applaud your courage.

It’s why you don’t see the athlete mocking the novice gym rat, nor the master teacher belittling the first year professional. These newcomers to the adventure are starting out and taking risks to be better — and that’s worth recognizing.

The Echo Chamber of the Uninspired

The loudest critics are often the ones doing the least. They haven’t risked. They haven’t built. They haven’t dared. Instead, they mock what they don’t understand. But their noise is just that—noise. It’s not a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of their fear.

You’ll know you’re on the right path when the quiet nods start showing up. The athlete who sees your grind. The leader who respects your ambition. The mentor who sees your growth. Real ones don’t need to say much. Their recognition is subtle, but it’s real — and it’s earned.

Protecting Your Energy

Listen to Your ‘Why’ and Risk to be Better

Not every opinion deserves your attention. Learn to discern between critique and criticism. Protect your energy like it’s your most valuable asset — because it is. Stay rooted in your purpose and let your “why” be louder than their “what ifs.”

Growth doesn’t happen in isolation. Surround yourself with people who challenge you, support you, and believe in you. The right community doesn’t just cheer you on—they hold you accountable to your potential. They remind you who you are when you forget.

Keep Building You

So keep going. Keep building. Keep growing. The world needs more people who are willing to try, to risk, to create. Don’t let the critics dim your drive. Let the real ones remind you that you’re not alone.

Let your superpower be your perseverance.

You’re just getting started.

(This post was inspired by the author prompting AI on the idea of someone being acknowledged by those who have travelled a similar path.)

“Why Don’t You Tweet (X?) More, Dave?”

/ Dave Eberwein / Leave a comment

A communication platform needs to be informative, timely and respectful.

Back in 2017 I thought I found one with Twitter.

I started using it in early 2017 determined to make it a significant part of my communication toolbox — a new way of connecting with others in my community on topics of interest in a way that I had not used. I wanted something that was instantaneous, as well as something where respectful dialogue could take place. Platforms such as the nightly news and periodicals provided one-way information flow. Twitter was poised to be my new two-way communication tool.

I was excited and up for the challenge.

I started out pretty strong too, but faded in my use of it over the first year. Today, in 2024, I still use Twitter …. I mean “X” … but do so sparingly. What I’ve found is that what is often presented on it as ‘fact’ is often just unsubstantiated opinion filled with negative and demeaning commentary.

That is not what I want or need from a professional communication tool.

It used to be a wonderful place to share thoughts and build understanding. And while there is still some of that within it, it is often punctuated with insults, accusations, political rhetoric and hyperbole.

I have pretty much lost interest in it as a reliable, professional communication tool.

(More on Page 2)

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